The Basement

The Basement is, well, the basement.

One does not question the basement.

Not much is known about the basement, except for the fact that it created everything and it is everything. It is also very intimate. Very... intimate.

The Followers of $trom often spend time in the basement. It is unsure whether the $trom or the Basement came first, but who gives. Honestly.

All subways on Jung Street lead to the basement.

The basement is known to contain: The basement defies all laws of physics. It is everything and is nothing while having made everything and while being nothing. Some say that there are three basements, but they come together to form one - judging by the nature of the basement, this theory is highly plausible.
 * Bagels
 * Italian sausages
 * White sauce

While the basement does not seem to make logical sense, it actually does because fuck you. The fact that the world exists is proof that the basement made it. This logic is undeniable and trascends logic and reason because fuck logic and reason.

In his seminal text, Critique of Other Basements, the great philospher and profit of the $trom Johnny demonstrated that since the existence of other basements is based in perception, and since perception is inherently irrational, it is impossible to imperically prove that other basements do, in fact, exist. This, therefore, led to the conclusion that the basement is indeed the very basis of reality and that all reality is built on its foundation, much as a house is built on a basement. He also demonstrated that the basement exists independently of other things, as a noumenon, or in simpler terms as a thing-in-itself, independently of perception and independently of the existence of other objects or abstract concepts such as God, the world, existence, being, to be, and New York bagels. This further strengthens the central theme of his text that all reality comes from the basement. As for the basement's relationship to the $trom, he simply concluded: "The basement is corporeal; the $trom is spiritual."