$trom's Prayer

The $trom's Prayer is the divine prayer that holds up all the core tenets of the religion of The $trom. It was revealed to the divine Prie$te$$ Amy through direct inspiration from the $trom.

The Prayer
In its pure, unedited form, just as it was revealed to Amy:

Our $trom, who art in Harvard and James Madison and Cornell and SUNY Oneonta and SUNY Cortland and Binghamton,

$velt be thy name.

Thy crazy train come,

thy will be done,

in Long Island as it is in college.

Give us this day our daily keg and eggs,

and forgive us our back problems,

as we forgive those who do not party with the $trom.

And lead us not into $leepovers,

but HMU if you know what's good.

(For thine is the $ubway,

and the $howers, and the tooth-brushing from time to time,

for ever and ever.

Gaymen.)